I'll start:
It's said that a monster is circuling San Andreas. It released on the books, newspapers, and even... walls.
Joe Clip said about this: - This is insanity! All the civillians are crazy. There is NO MONSTER on the state. Me, as a president I don't let "monsters" enter on MY state!!!
It's said too that a rude boy called Carl Johnson, provoked the rumour about the monster, he says that is the Loch Ness monster in Fisher's Lagoon, Palomino Creek. All the civilians came there and there was no monster at all.
Bill Gates said: - Carl Johnson? He's not gonna get to Microsoft. You know what I'm meaning. I want NO monsters in America.
Joe Crocker said: - I don't want the K-DST dead. I love to sing in that studio.
Love Fist said: Well, we've singed on San Andreas and it's sooo cool. I love the Radio X studios, no one is going to destroy our favorite studio. Whetever V-Rock or Radio X.
The police don't even YET discovered who is the suspect.
SAN NEWS, 13 February 2008
Write your own news
Started by
Spider-Vice
, Feb 13 2008 05:31 PM
12 replies to this topic
#3
TheGunslinger
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When in doubt, get the shotgun out.
Posted 14 February 2008 - 11:52 AM
The entire world is in shock today after discovering that Chris Crocker and Jack Thompson have made a sex tape together.
SAN NEWS, 14 February 2008
SAN NEWS, 14 February 2008
#4
Angry Gorilla
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y hello thar!
Posted 14 February 2008 - 12:36 PM
Mario confesses to have been taking sleazy photos of Peach and Jack Thompson having sexual intercourse in a tiny trailer, meanwhile Chris Crocker jumps off a building and ends up injured.
SAN NEWS, 14 February 2008
SAN NEWS, 14 February 2008
#6
TheGunslinger
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When in doubt, get the shotgun out.
Posted 14 February 2008 - 11:25 PM
Chris Crocker was found dead today at his home. It is thought he died of a heart attack after seeing himself in the mirror.
San news blah blah blah
San news blah blah blah
#7
Posted 15 February 2008 - 02:28 AM
earlier today people salw a black male walk into a ship and take off with one of their private jets police suspect its the notorious Jhonson Brother Carl when going to the ship we found the police
shadow: why do you think he stole the plane
Navy guy: what place I dont know who you are
Shadow: the ship right behind you someone took a jet off of it
navy guy: What someone stole the plane we have to do something
Shadow: no you dumb ass he already took it
navy guy: what you call me thats it I dont like you anymore you die (shots go off ending shadows reporting career)
shadow: why do you think he stole the plane
Navy guy: what place I dont know who you are
Shadow: the ship right behind you someone took a jet off of it
navy guy: What someone stole the plane we have to do something
Shadow: no you dumb ass he already took it
navy guy: what you call me thats it I dont like you anymore you die (shots go off ending shadows reporting career)
#8
Posted 15 February 2008 - 06:26 AM
Yesterday evening a boy (14 years old) has fucked the shit out of 2 girls. The latter of them, Isabelle, reported this yesterday at the LSPD. "And then he wanted me to bend over" the girls says filled with hapiness. "I couldn't believe what was happening, but it was. He just did it, right there.
For more on this see page 17.
For more on this see page 17.
Courtesy to Connor
#10
Claude4L
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Vandal
Posted 04 May 2011 - 01:30 PM
This just in!
A donkey got raped by a cow in AssKisser City and murdered with a metal chicken of doom with frozen chicken butt smacking to his face.
In Other news: A survivor claims that aliens rape humans especially males. It is proven that the survivor is a mental escapee and his claim is fake, but it is still proven true.
In Showbiz : OG Loc finally ate his foreskins! he confessed that he ate his foreskin along with Madd Dogg's and boiling them in 3 hours.
In Cooking : Now here is how we make "pudding" get a cup of shit and boil it with some water, pee, salt, eyeballs, glue, backhair and sugar for taste. It is very high in Calories with atleast 200000 calories each bite and 10000 transfat.
A donkey got raped by a cow in AssKisser City and murdered with a metal chicken of doom with frozen chicken butt smacking to his face.
In Other news: A survivor claims that aliens rape humans especially males. It is proven that the survivor is a mental escapee and his claim is fake, but it is still proven true.
In Showbiz : OG Loc finally ate his foreskins! he confessed that he ate his foreskin along with Madd Dogg's and boiling them in 3 hours.
In Cooking : Now here is how we make "pudding" get a cup of shit and boil it with some water, pee, salt, eyeballs, glue, backhair and sugar for taste. It is very high in Calories with atleast 200000 calories each bite and 10000 transfat.
Edited by Claude4L, 04 May 2011 - 01:31 PM.
#11
Posted 10 May 2011 - 10:17 PM
Alright, let's do it:
Economics: The Simoleon is high today, being worth US$5.00. If you're arriving from SimNation, hurry and exchange your simoleons into dollars before it falls again.
Politics: The Combine have finally chosen the new Earth Administrator. His name is Gordon Frohman (Frohman, not Freeman) and he seemed very capable of continuing Wallace Breen's great job.
Sports: Harry Cane, better known as "Horse-Cock Harry", was the winner of the 69th World Fucking Cup, held at Colosseum, in Rome . During his show, he fucked all the 80 women, the whole crowd watching the action, and also all the reporters who were reporting the event. Actually, Lazlow Jones, San News reporter who was there, was one of them, and now discovered that he is pregnant. Isn't that great?
Cooking: A Jill sandwich is a zombie delicacy, prepared by crushing S.T.A.R.S. member Jill Valentine (of Resident Evil fame) in a room with a slowly-descending ceiling. When Jill is reduced to a nice, squishy pulp, spread the resulting pulp between two slices of bread and enjoy a nice snack. It was created by sandwiches-expert Barry Burton, and is said to be video-game superstar Chris Redfield's favorite meal.
Economics: The Simoleon is high today, being worth US$5.00. If you're arriving from SimNation, hurry and exchange your simoleons into dollars before it falls again.
Politics: The Combine have finally chosen the new Earth Administrator. His name is Gordon Frohman (Frohman, not Freeman) and he seemed very capable of continuing Wallace Breen's great job.
Sports: Harry Cane, better known as "Horse-Cock Harry", was the winner of the 69th World Fucking Cup, held at Colosseum, in Rome . During his show, he fucked all the 80 women, the whole crowd watching the action, and also all the reporters who were reporting the event. Actually, Lazlow Jones, San News reporter who was there, was one of them, and now discovered that he is pregnant. Isn't that great?
Cooking: A Jill sandwich is a zombie delicacy, prepared by crushing S.T.A.R.S. member Jill Valentine (of Resident Evil fame) in a room with a slowly-descending ceiling. When Jill is reduced to a nice, squishy pulp, spread the resulting pulp between two slices of bread and enjoy a nice snack. It was created by sandwiches-expert Barry Burton, and is said to be video-game superstar Chris Redfield's favorite meal.
Edited by Miles Pedro Prower, 10 May 2011 - 10:28 PM.
#12
TommyVercitti
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Trickster
Posted 13 May 2011 - 05:15 PM
A man called Carl Johnson broke into area 69 with the freeway glitch 
And picked up th minigun and repeated this method many times and finally got a 6 star wanted level and before he died and started the game from his save point he raped a military soldier
And picked up th minigun and repeated this method many times and finally got a 6 star wanted level and before he died and started the game from his save point he raped a military soldier
#13
Posted 14 May 2011 - 01:44 AM
GLaDOS admits, during an interview: "The cake is not a lie" - she says - "The cake is a pie." More in page 4.
Interview with Gordon Freeman, Claude and Link (page 5): The most memorable quotes: "...", by Freeman, "...", by Claude and "...", by Link.
Interview with Gordon Freeman, Claude and Link (page 5): The most memorable quotes: "...", by Freeman, "...", by Claude and "...", by Link.
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